Just as I am

I have been feeling quite nostalgic in the last couple of weeks. It all started with some meetings we had with the other CAM missionaries in Honduras and some of the folks from the main office in Dallas. The outcome of the meetings is still a work in progress, but times are changing and missions changes, too.

Among other things, John and I were given a plaque to commemorate our 30 years with the mission. That is what actually got me feeling nostalgic (that, and Wally--see the previous blog). 30 years. I would have thought I would be farther along on the journey by now, in terms of being more Christ-like, more of everything that makes one Christ-like. I still have questions I can't answer, sins that still plague me, things I know I should do that I have trouble being consistent in doing. I guess I am still a work in progress, too. Part of the problem with wanting to be Christ-like is what Christ is like.

The sermon on the mount, for example...incredibly awesome.

The more I understand what He is really like, the more I long to be like that, and the more I realize how far short I come.

Way back, more like 40-50 years than 30, we used to sing "Just as I am" in church... a lot. When I think about walking along the path of life in Christ, as Eugene Peterson puts it, "a long obedience in the same direction," it still expresses very beautifully how I feel...

1. Just as I am, without one plea,
 but that thy blood was shed for me,
 and that thou bidst me come to thee,
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

2. Just as I am, and waiting not
 to rid my soul of one dark blot,
 to thee whose blood can cleanse each spot,
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

3. Just as I am, though tossed about
 with many a conflict, many a doubt,
 fightings and fears within, without,
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

4. Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;
 sight, riches, healing of the mind,
 yea, all I need in thee to find,
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

5. Just as I am, thou wilt receive,
 wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
 because thy promise I believe,
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

6. Just as I am, thy love unknown
 hath broken every barrier down;
 now, to be thine, yea thine alone,
 O Lamb of God, I come, I come.