Written in ink, or penciled in?

Last year, when John and I sat down with a calendar to plan out this year, we left chunks of time open. Nice empty white squares with numbers in the corner and no responsibility written in in blue ink. That was going to be my "writing time".

Famous last words.

Seems like this year is going to be full of penciled-in-at-the-last-minute things. Good things, worth-doing things, just not what I had thought I was going to be doing. My much-loved writing project is getting squeezed into a day or two here and there between penciled-in responsibilities.

That's okay though.

The unscheduled schedule that this year is becoming has a special purpose. Or purposes, I guess I should say--some for me, some for the people whose lives have been crossing with mine.

Learning to relax in God's plan for me has been a life-long project. Always wanting to please everyone and never quite sure that I pleased anyone. Continually questioning myself, never confident that what I was doing was "good enough". Oh my, what a waste of energy!

I am finding that whether, in my mind, something is "written in ink" or "penciled-in," God's plan for me is good. He loves me not for what I accomplish, but because He is Love. He accepts me because I am in Jesus.

For the most part, people appreciate the inked-in things I spend my time preparing, but what they really love is the penciled-in time I spend listening to them. They accept my carefully prepared lesson, but what they really need is a hug and encouraging word.